


Avoirdupois

by cutsycat



Series: Dictionary.Com Word of the Day Drabbles [485]
Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 04:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10325138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutsycat/pseuds/cutsycat
Summary: Tony decides that he'd rather see a gynecologist about his pelvic pain than a urologist. Jimmy being the doting husband(or boyfriend, your choice) goes with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) in the [NCIS_Prompts_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCIS_Prompts_2017) collection. 



> Another dictionary.com word of the day drabble. This time from 08/29/2000 for the word [avoirdupois](http://www.dictionary.com/wordoftheday/2000/08/29/avoirdupois).
> 
> avoirdupois  
> Avoirdupois weight, a system of weights based on a pound containing 16 ounces or 7,000 grains (453.59 grams).  
> Weight; heaviness; as, a person of much avoirdupois.
> 
> This is for Red_Pink_Dots who prompted me through [here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCIS_Prompts_2017/profile). 
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Dark humor:  
> a humorous way of looking at or treating something that is serious or sad.
> 
> Might be a crack fic or not, still author's choice. ;)
> 
> **End Prompt**
> 
> *Warning* I absolutely fail at dark humor. So I apologize in advance. Don't worry I don't intend to torture readers with anymore attempts at dark humor. Apologies to Red_Pink_Dots. I hope it's not too bad.
> 
> As always comments, kudos, and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Prompts are open. More information is available at the end of the work if you want to prompt me yourself.

# 

Avoirdupois

Jimmy wrapped his arm around Tony’s waist as they waited in the waiting area for the gynecologist’s assistant to call them back.

A particularly audacious individual stepped up to them and asked, “Which of you is pregnant?”

Jimmy sputtered. Tony putting on his most charming smile, patted his stomach. “Me, can’t you tell? I’ve been telling, dear Jimmy, here, that we needed to come here for ages. I’m afraid my avoirdupois has just become too much to be anything else.”

The rather rude man walked away muttering about unnaturalness and how their kind shouldn’t be allowed to exist.

Jimmy turned to Tony a hand over his mouth as he tried to get himself under control again. “How could you?” He questioned in a whisper, aghast.

“Did you want to tell him the real reason we’re here?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Well, no, but you can’t make a joke about something serious like that.” Jimmy hissed.

“Sure, I can.” Tony smirked, not worried at all. “There’s a whole genre on dark humor featuring much more delicate subjects than that. Besides, it’s not like I’d be averse to carrying your child.”

Jimmy’s eyes went wide as he contemplated that possibility.

Just then Tony’s name was called. Tony smirked at everyone in the waiting room and strutted proudly after the assistant. Jimmy shook his head and followed after Tony.

He wished they were here because Tony was pregnant. They’d both wanted to have a child and had been seriously considering adoption before Tony had started experiencing severe pelvic pain. Jimmy had suggested going to a urologist, but Tony had wanted to see a gynecologist instead insisting that she could help them with the pelvic pain as well as get them more information about adopting a child.

Jimmy had acquiesced as it was Tony’s body, but the seriousness of the situation kept getting to him. All jokes about Tony’s weight aside, Tony had been slowly gaining weight ever since he’d been diagnosed. Though Jimmy did have to admit that Tony being pregnant would be an amusing cause of his pelvic pain.

Alas, that was not the case, the gynecologist informed them that Tony had an inflamed prostate and that they would have to cut back on the sex for a while. The gynecologist prescribed some antibiotics and sent them home.

“Guess it’s a good thing, I’m not really pregnant. I doubt the kid would appreciate these antibiotics.” Tony remarked loudly, as they passed by the rude man on their way out.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts are currently open. If you'd like to prompt me, please do so [here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCIS_Prompts_2017/profile). Note you have to be an ao3 member to do this. 
> 
> If you are not an ao3 member, you can prompt me [here](http://cutsycat.livejournal.com/50701.html). Please follow the same rules as are listed in the above link. However, because this is a handmade prompt form(that thinks it's a poll), it is considerably more limited than what ao3 provides, so please use the ao3 form if you're an ao3 member. Please note the name option is for a name that I can say this is for so that you know it's for you. Since this is for non ao3 members it won't be true gifts, but you will be mentioned in the notes.
> 
> This is a new thing I'm trying, so please leave feedback here if you think it could be improved.


End file.
